Monday, September 23, 2013

Update from me now...

So, it seems I'm being challenged here lately.  You see, here I was going along just fine...losing 35+ lbs, eating healthy, exercising, running 5K's, all that jazz.  I was in a good place.

Apparently I was in too good a place.  Sigh!

First off, as the summer started getting hotter and hotter...I started not being able to run outside (like we're talking mid July 100 degree days, even in the mornings!), so I took it to the treadmill.  Over a couple weeks, this led to my plantar fasciitis acting up pretty bad.  I went to my foot dr who gave me a steroid shot (again) and told me to lay off the running for just a couple weeks while this healed.  :(

Ok.  No biggie.

Then, just as I was coming out of that 2 week window, I went to the doctor (a new dr cuz I didn't like my old one) to get a checkup, find a new dr I like and find out why all my hair is falling out (it's crazy y'all...  like, chemo patient bad.  sorry..not trying to be offensive, just descriptive).  I just KNEW that it would be thyroid, low iron, low something...  so they did blood work.  Everything came back normal.  Well, except low Vitamin D and B12.  Nothing that explains hair loss.  And nothing that explains my newly found heart murmur.  :(  Yep.  The dr told me not to worry (ugh..yea right!), but that usually people w low iron show a heart murmur.  However, when iron came back normal, they didn't have a reason.  And wanted me to have an echocardiogram to check it out.

Worry sets in.  Seriously?  I'm 36 years old.  I'm fine.  (well except the hair falling out thing) Anyway...so I didn't pick up the running just yet.  I went and had my echo, waited a week for results.  My dr calls me and tells me that I have a "substantial leaky valve and will need to see a cardiologist asap".  :O  What?!?!?

So, in between this news and the cardio appt, I sure didn't want to pick up running.  I mean...its a very surreal feeling and I still kinda tear up thinking about it now.  Its worrisome.  Its not anything I'm doing wrong or anything I can fix.  Its a malfunction of my heart (or valves, rather)...something is broken.  ANd something with my HEART!  The choices didn't seem good either way.  Either...the news would be 'let it go, people live with this, it's not a big deal, we'll monitor it, etc..', which I was way not ok with.  Go back and read:  something is broken!  With my heart!  And you just want to let it be?!?'  Or.  The news would be, 'we need to fix it' - which I figured would mean surgery or something, right?  Which I am way not ok with either... heart surgery?!?!

Either way this played out, I didn't think it to be all that good.  I panicked.  I worried.  I cried.  (and I sure as heck wasn't out running...what if I keeled over?...sort of joking)

So, I had my cardio appt a week or so ago.  He told me the first option.  He said, I have moderate to heavy leaking on both valves inside my heart.  The valves that make sure the right blood goes in and out the right sides and stays out of the wrong sides (the oxygenated blood on one side, the deoxygenated blood on the other).  He reassured me I wouldn't be keeling over from this.  But that we do need to monitor it.  His way of explaining it, (which made me not quite as defensive about this plan) was that every test at any given time is different.  I might do another echo 2 months from now and be fine.  I might do another echo today on a different machine and be fine.  (or be a lot worse...he didn't mention that part, though ;P)  So, he wants me to do another echo in 2 months to see the change, the difference, if any.  Then we'll go from there.  He assured me I can live normally...running is fine.  Okaaaaayyy...

So that's where I'm at with that.  Still a little worried, not panicked though, and still a little feeling like 'something is wrong with my heart people!!!!'...

In the meantime, in fact, the day I was in his office - I had been out on a photoshoot, taking pictures, and slipped off a step.  Most people (myself included) brace themselves, catch themselves, whatever.  However, I had my camera around my neck.  My thousands of dollars camera.  So both hands instinctively went to my camera.  Don't worry.  My camera is fine.  My ankle...not so much.

I don't know how I made it through the shoot, but I did.  Went home and thought I'd be ok.  Next day (at cardio) couldn't walk hardly and noticed the swelling/bruising.  So I went to Urgent Care (not b/c I trust them, but bc I knew I'd have to have an Xray) they did an Xray to show it wasn't broken (I didn't really think it was, just wanted a boot or something to assist me walking).  They instead gave me a soft cast and refused to let me put any weight on it.  Seriously!!  They were trying to give me crutches or a walker or a wheelchair, when I said...'no no..I have crutches at home, that's fine.'  They wouldn't let me drive (yes, it's my right foot) and wheeled me out to the car for Brad to drive me home.  Gah!




I could take the soft cast off, so I did shortly after to go finish out another photoshoot, then I put it back on from thence forward.  However, I HAVE been walking on it, treating it like a boot.  I am not doing crutches.  A few days go by and I take the cast part off and just have Brad wrap it really tight.  Its still hurting, it's still bruised and I'm at the point now where I'm thinking, is it ever going to be back to normal?  Will I be able to run in this 5K I'm signed up for next month?  Ugh.... :(



So yes, I've been having a tough time.  When it rains, it pours. I'm in a bit of slump with everything going on...but I'm still here!  The rainbow is coming I know!  Prayers are appreciated and my next cardio appt is in November.  


And I don't share many pics of me on here, because...come on, we all know you come here for pics of the kids!  In fact, I don't even TAKE pictures of myself.  Like, ever!  But one day in the parking lot I snapped this pic, to ironically make sure I didn't have anything in my teeth or on my face before I took an ID type picture (yes, I'm also now substitute teaching these days)....and I kinda actually don't mind it.  Cell phone photo of all things!  Ha!  So here ya go....  a picture of me for once.  :)




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