I try really hard to not complain - really I do. But I am seriously not a happy glow-y pregnant woman. Never was, never will be. I am definitely blessed to have a baby growing healthy in my belly, sure, but I got pregnant to have a baby. I did not get pregnant because I enjoy being pregnant. I like the end result.
My list of whining gets bigger as my tummy does I think. The first three months of this pregnancy, I felt I could throw up at any moment and was so tired. Then, I started having the heartburn that even prescription medicine twice a day doesn't help. I mean, this is the kind of heartburn that I have thrown up from. Definitely no fun. There are the contractions (not really Braxton-Hicks either)...yes, real contractions that I have daily. I'm supposed to lay down, drink water and call if they last more than an hour. They do....I don't. They always go away - just takes longer than an hour. And who can afford to lay down in the middle of a preschool? Or while taking care of a toddler? So, I manage thru them, hoping they go away. So far, everyday (yes, everyday) they do eventually go away. But are still suprisingly painful.
Then this baby has been so low throughout the pregnancy that the kicks were (and are) being felt as low as in my leg! :o Then there's the tailbone pain. And let me tell you - this has got to be the most deabilitating part of everything. It's so bad, I can't sit, stand, lay down or sometimes move. Talk about limitations. There is really only one chair in my house that I can comfortably sit in. Then since I work at a preschool and am *supposed* to get down on their level (on the floor, changing diapers, helping potty, etc), it makes my work days almost unbearable. Of course, again, I try to put on a good front. And am trying to work as long as possible to keep the money coming in.
Then, I buy a maternity belt. Eh....it's a belt with velcro adjustments that helps support the weight of your tummy in theory. Problem is the baby is sooo low that when I tighten the belt up enough to take the pressure off, it's like I'm pushing into the baby's territory. Then she gets ticked and starts really pushing/kicking against my lower pelvic region. What's a girl to do?
I found out at the 4D ultrasound the baby was breech. It all started making sense. That's why I felt her so low and have all this pressure down there. Well, 2 days later, I start feeling her swirling around in there. Then the kicks became different and in different places. Could she have possibly turned around? Well, I think so! I couldn't feel the hard round spot (better known as a head) in my rib cage and all of the sudden, I feel blissful! I could walk...I could move! I had no more pain! I could sit in any chair I wanted (even the little teency tiny ones at school)! I was so excited! I thought....could it be possible to actually have a couple months left to be able to be painfree and enjoy this pregnancy like I so badly want to? Could I actually plan to work up until my delivery? I was really feeling good! I was really happy and felt good! I never knew what it was like to feel good! And now...here! It was me and I was really FEELING GOOD!
Well, notice I said "was". Yesterday, she moved back into her favorite position. Head back into ribcage, feet pushing on my pelvic area and tailbone and I'm back to being only comfortable in my computer chair. I could seriously cry. Don't get me wrong, I'm still so happy and blessed to know this baby is ok and is healthy and that I am 8 months pregnant and am getting closer to having a newborn in my arms and all that. But I was so excited for all of about 3 days to actually feel good. Is it too much to ask? Really.
Now, I'm back to the excruciating tailbone pain, the intolerable back pain. Not to mention the ever present throwing up heartburn, and now (sorry if TMI) my pubic bones feeling like they are splitting apart like a wishbone. Yes...it's great.
I will be so happy when this baby gets here - again, I want to reiterate I AM so thankful to have this blessing growing healthy inside me. I know tons of people who can't get pregnant or who have their baby too early and have complications to deal with, or people who have lost children. So I accept that and am so thankful that God has entrusted me with this little life to grow. I just wish I could feel good for longer than 3 days in a 9 month pregnancy. I wish I could feel like that glow-y pregnant mom who wants to be pregnant every day of the year. I really really want that. In the meantime, I'm getting there. When I get the most miserable, I try to picture that sweet face from the pictures I posted from the 4D ultrasound. I walk (or hobble) into the nursery and think of what life will be like with two kids. I picture that fragile little newborn baby girl who won't be able to lift her head and will have such a great big sister who loves on her so much. I think about Brenna. Brenna. All I have to do sometimes is think about or say her name. It makes it all too real and I know soon I'll have a beautiful baby girl in my arms and none of this pregnancy stuff will matter.
So, for the rest of the update - (through complaining now) - I am 32 wks pregnant (well, still going by my original due date). I was feeling pretty good as I mentioned for about three days. My blood pressure is hanging in there at "just a little high" (my feet are pretty swollen and are def worse after work) and hopefully won't raise any more from there. The fatigue has once again started to set in. Our EDD (expected date of delivery) is now May 7. And I've been going to the dr every two weeks now. We have gotten pre-registered at the hospital and everything is A-ok on that end. Good news is I haven't gained any weight since last visit and only 5-6 lbs total? Which is fine...baby's growing well and I could def stand to lose a few pounds. Honestly I just can't eat. I think yesterday my day consisted of a few apple slices for lunch, a fruit smoothie for dinner and my daily dose of caffeine (aka Coke). Good news though I guess? Better that than the alternative.
Hopefully I can continue to work as long as possible. The baby is growing rapidly now and here's the growth update from Babycenter:
How your baby's growing:
By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth.
I've included 8month pictures for your viewing pleasure. And again, if I have offended any glow-y pregnant women out there, I apologize. Trust me - I DO appreciate this baby, this pregnancy and everything it encompasses, as well as all the other many blessings in my life. But every once in a while, a girl's got a right to complain, right?
Brooke giving Brenna kisses (she already loves her baby sister so much...seriously, she does this all day)....
And Brooke "listening for Brenna to laugh" and feeling to "see if she has the hiccups again"....
And for fun, a picture of me pregnant with Brooke at 32 wks (cuz I love to compare)...
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